By Bryce Bison

Ok, here we go again, sifting through the garbage of trashy magazines for women. I am blown away here. I really had no idea that this particular assignment was going to be so difficult. I thought, and I believe many guys think, that they know what is going on in the world today. For example, what world events make the news, or what the American Christian church is up to. I think we believe we have a pretty good idea what the “world” is feeding our children, our ladies, and us. Boy was I wrong. Well, I wasn’t completely wrong. It is a bunch of garbage.

It all starts like this. I swing by a gas station on my way home from a church meeting one Tuesday night to pick up a magazine that will provide the material for this article. No magazines sold there, except Auto Trader. I hit the next gas station on the way home, no dice. Where does a guy go to get some women’s reading material around here? Of course, every time I asked the clerk if they had “stupid women’s magazines” I made it sound like I was the good guy running an errand for my wife. Finally I end up at the local grocery store, time to pick the magazine… There are many options, yet, not many options. I initially thought that the whole row of magazines would have ample supply and variety for me to peruse. Again I was wrong. I wanted to avoid Cosmopolitan because our good buddy Chris covered that magazine last month (and quite well I might add). I pick up Elle, super thick and basically just thousands of advertisements. I couldn’t even find an article in there, although I am sure there probably was one. Then I picked up a Vogue. This, like Elle, is fashion magazine and not really what I was looking for. I passed by all of the themed nice magazines like Bridal Guide, Better Homes and Gardens, and Country Living. I didn’t really want celebrity gossip either. This was not supposed to be difficult. Then it dawned on me, a magazine that always seemed ok on the surface, a magazine that promoted health in every aspect of life, a magazine by a person so vain she puts a picture of herself on every cover, O, the Oprah Magazine. So, rather than buy a hard copy, I did what any good online magazine contributor would do, I went to Oprah.com. I then quickly zoomed in on the "Spirit and Self page," (cuz duh, could it be any more obvious?) and began my research.

O Magazine: Strategies for Happiness: Seven Steps to Becoming a Happier Person by Tom Valeo

Before we get into our seven steps, (What is up with seven? It seems like all these lists are seven long.) I want to point out a portion of text near the beginning of this article: "Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes."  The article quotes David T Lykken as saying, “Trying to be happier is like trying to be taller.”  He claims that every person has a 'happiness set point', and believes that you can only vary very slightly from whatever that pre-set point is.  They then go on to write a whole article about how you can be happier. I wonder if they expect us to take them seriously when they start their “how to” article, by saying “you can’t.”

Bryce's Opinion:

It has been pointed out to me that wrong thinking does not have to be the polar opposite of what is right, it can be almost right. What I am saying is that if you take the truth and tweak it just a little, it is no longer the truth. I think that a lot of what we read is this way, so it is important that we base our perspective on Scripture, and not what sounds good. We will compare their seven steps to what God says in His Word, and I may throw in an opinion or two. I also want to challenge the very idea of "pursuing happiness." The concept is very self-focused and twists from the basic ideology of Christianity. Matthew 6:33 – But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. I do not feel very comfortable replacing anything in that verse with happiness or even adding it to the end. Do you?

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #1: Don’t Worry, Choose Happy

The first step is to make a choice to be happy. Some say it is an achievement rather than a “gift from the gods.” You decide to choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness. For example, reprogram your beliefs and values. Choose to be in environments that increase your probability of happiness. They say the persons that become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values. Happiness depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others.

Bryce’s Opinion:

Again, I challenge the very thought of pursuing happiness, but I do know that scripture instructs us not to worry. Matthew 6:34 – Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. I also know that attitude plays a huge part in life. Charles Swindoll has a very famous quote regarding attitude, here it is:

Good quote Chuck. It matters; however, what our motivation is for not worrying and choosing “happiness.” It should not be just about us.

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate Gratitude

Perform a daily “gratitude exercise.” List a few things that make you grateful. This promotes happiness.

Bryce’s Opinion:

Thankfulness should envelop the Christian life. It is a natural by-product of God’s saving grace in our lives. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18 – Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will God in Christ Jesus for you. Bottom line, “gratitude” is not for the purpose of achieving our own happiness. It is for the purpose of living inside of God’s good and perfect will for our lives.

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness

Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect physical as well as mental health. If you can foster forgiveness it will reduce the power of bad events to create bitterness and resentment.

Bryce’s Opinion:

We forgive because God first forgave us. Does fostering forgiveness promote happiness? It promotes blessedness. Romans 4:7,8 – “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute sin.” Also, don’t forget as a believer you have to forgive others. Matthew 6:14,15 – “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses.” That is a pretty good reason for fostering forgiveness.

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #4: Counteract Negative Thoughts and Feelings

Practice meditation, rhythmic breathing, yoga, or relaxation techniques to quell anxiety and promote serenity. You can learn to recognize and challenge thoughts you have about being inadequate and helpless.

Bryce’s Opinion:

There is something about knowing the truth. It gives confidence and dispels paranoia. I want to share with you, our dedicated readership, a foundational belief of mine for healthy and right living. It is the concept of renewing your mind. Romans 12:2 – And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. When you take time to renew your mind and train your heart with the truth of scripture, you will have a healthy self-image. I find that many people, especially women, have such messed up views of who they are and how they see themselves, that it is hard to function, let alone be happy.

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #5: Remember, Money Can’t Buy Happiness

If things aren’t bringing you happiness, it is not because they are the wrong things; it is because the pursuit itself is futile. No matter what stuff you finally attain, it will not bring an enduring state of happiness.

Bryce’s Opinion:

There is no such thing as an enduring state of happiness. Happiness is determined by circumstance. Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 2:8 and 11 - I also gathered for myself silver and gold and special treasures of kings and of provinces. – And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun. I think that sums that up.

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #6: Foster Friendship

One of the best antidotes to unhappiness is close friendship with people who care about you. Myers writes, “Sadly, our increasingly individualistic society suffers from impoverished social connections, which some psychologists believe is a cause of today’s epidemic levels of depression.”

Bryce’s Opinion:

Proverbs 18:24 – A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Isolation is a big problem in today’s society. Be a friend to find a friend. I also think that “today’s epidemic levels of depression,” has a lot to do with people not renewing their minds with the truth of God’s Word.

O Magazine: Happiness Strategy #7: Engage in Meaningful Activities

People are seldom happier than when they are in the “flow.” This is the state in which your mind becomes thoroughly absorbed in a meaningful task that challenges your abilities. To get more out of life, we need to put more into it. This is not easy though; each “flow” producing activity requires an investment of attention before it becomes enjoyable.

Bryce’s Opinion:

This one weirds me out a little bit. “Flow?” Come on. Give me a break. Whereas I think achievements can be rewarding, read Ecclesiastes and see where Solomon’s “flow” got him in the end. I like the way The Westminster Shorter Catechism from 1647 puts it: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever.

Bryce's Closing Statement:

The main idea is that your own happiness should not be the motivating force in your life. There is a much bigger picture here. I also suggest to you that happiness is shallow and joy is a much deeper experience. Joy is a product of joining your life with Jesus Christ, because it is one of the fruits that the Holy Spirit produces in you. These fruits can be found in Galatians 5:22. Many things out there seem good. Just remember to be constantly comparing them to scripture. God has more for you than just happiness.

The article quoted from and referenced to is "Strategies for Happiness: Seven Steps to Becoming a Happier Person"  written by Tom Valeo, published on Oprah.com as a feature from WebMd.