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By Blake Bush I believe the burden in this society has to change from the girl to the guy. Hey Hunk of Burning Lust – it is YOUR responsibility to say no, not hers! It is time for you to lead! The man is the head of the home. Does that sound old fashioned? Is it ‘not fair?’ It is old-fashioned because the concept originated from the God-head in eternity past. The family is a reflection of the God-head. Three-in-one. All equal, but one is the head. Some may be confused that the Son (often referred to as the second person of the Trinity) is somehow less God than the Father (referred to as the first person of the Trinity). Doesn’t ‘higher rank’ mean ‘more important and better than?’ In this case – no. Jesus is fully God in every way. So, too, is the Spirit. There is nothing that the Father is that Jesus is not. (See Colossians 2:9) The Father is not BETTER than Jesus and the Spirit. He just has a different POSITION than the others.
Do you think that Jesus and The Holy Spirit feel oppressed, or think that somehow, sometime, they should rotate positions once in a while? Do they think the Father is somehow chauvinistic, and that they deserve their turn to lead? Somehow the trinity is not tripped up on position as we humans are. Jesus and the Spirit are fully secure in their ‘godheadness.’ They delight to do the will of the Father. (See John 5:30) And, I am sure, because of the intimate nature of God, that the Father delights in Jesus and the Spirit, and listens to their thoughts. Even in this statement, our language probably fails to comprehend and communicate the intimate and unified nature of the three-in-one.
So, I will turn again to the family and guy-girl relationships. Our relationships work best when they reflect the character and form of the God-head. Saying that a women is ‘less’ or ‘inferior’ because she is the second in the family is like saying Jesus is ‘less’ or ‘inferior’ in the God-head. Again, we are talking position, not value or quality. And, if a person has ever lead something of significance, even experience says that anything with two heads is a monster. For this reason, in World War II the allied nations understood the need for one supreme allied commander. Systems function better with one head. Without going into detail, I am not saying one dictator. If all leaders would lead like God leads, we wouldn't even be having this discussion.
There is much more to be said here, but I want to focus in on just one type of relationship, having just established a brief scriptural foundation for headship. In particular, I believe that the guy needs to take up his responsibility from the very beginning – from the first date.
For those who choose to date, the dating relationship is not actually a family, but it is a potential family. Either way, it is a relationship where the guy needs to take up responsibility. First, it is the guy who needs to decide what will happen physically. Now, if we truly love as Christ loves the church, that decision would not be based on hormones. True love does not lust and take.
Here is the rub – in the heat of the moment communication somehow always breaks down. So often the guy is thinking, “She wants this.” The girl is thinking, “He wants this.” Too often the guy passively lays the responsibility on the woman to have to say ‘no.’ I believe the burden in this society has to change from the girl to the guy. Hey Hunk of Burning Lust – it is YOUR responsibility to say no, not hers! It is time for you to lead!
A real man would know what God wants, what she REALLY wants, and truly lead. (100% of the time I am convinced that a girl really does not really want sex. Fearfully she uses sex to keep you from leaving the relationship) The guy should be responsible for what happens.
From this point on, when I see a young single pregnant girl, I am thinking, “Who is the guy who is responsible for this?” I will not lay the responsibility on her. Not fair?! Doesn’t matter – it is how relationship and family will work best. Guys – so practice now, by leading in dating relationships. Be like Christ and love her as Christ loved the church and laid down his life for her. He did not come to take, but to give. When a guy initiates physical intimacy outside of marriage, he is TAKING, not giving and walking in love. Come on guys, it is time to take up the mantle and lead from the first date! |
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 26 January 2008 )
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