By Daryl Holmlund 

Bradley Hathaway has been traveling and performing in shows around the country and overseas almost non-stop for the past three years. But Hathaway isn’t a rock musician or a circus performer, he’s a poet. A slam poet to be more precise. His first book and album, All the Hits So Far But Don’t Expect Too Much, was published in 2005 and was more or less exclusively spoken word. His sophomore work, The Thing That Poets Write About, The Thing That Singers Sing About , was released this past fall and features the artist’s progression from spoken word into song. Hathaway was able to have a conversation with Daryl Holmlund on January 23, 2008, partly because he was taking a few minutes to recover from having a 700 lb cast-iron bathtub dropped on his fingers while working on remodeling his house earlier that day.

Daryl Holmlund: You’ve been making your living as an artist for a few years now, and you’ve had opportunities to travel all over the country and abroad, performing for audiences of all sizes – do you ever pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming?

Bradley Hathaway: Well, it was never – no – not a dream; I never thought I would be a writer or musician. I always wanted to travel - that was the dream – and this writing and performing is a means to the dream. But this has become a dream: traveling all over and performing. I’m making a living. When I’m home from tour I get to read or write or hang out with friends. I’m very thankful. I try to be thankful – it’s taken me a couple years. Now I’m over traveling. I’m home for 2 months right now and it’s the longest time I’ve been home in 3 years.

DH: Since travel was a dream of yours, were there any places where you always wanted to go that you have visited on tour?

BH: As a whole, Europe. I always wanted to go to Europe. Never any place specific in Europe, just do the backpacking thing, riding trains and staying in hostels and all. California – always wanted to go to California. Hawaii – that was pretty amazing. Australia. I remember going to Australia, the last time I went to Europe and Australia I wasn’t that excited, but this time I am. I love the United States. I’ve been to every state but Alaska…

DH: So is Alaska on the next tour?

BH: Not this spring. We thought about taking a two week break and driving up, but the cost of driving that far right now… but it’s going to happen. I’m calling it - in the next year and a half. Right now I’m trying to balance my life, being a normal person. I just bought a house and I’m not even going to be able to stay in it more than ten days before I have to go again. I miss it already.

DH: When you’re on tour, what do you miss most about your home/hometown?

BH: I never really missed my home. Only thing I’ve ever missed is a girlfriend, when I had one, I would miss her. But I haven’t had a home – I’ve been living on a hog farm here for the last year when I’m around. I haven’t had a place of my own. Maybe now that I have a home, I’ll miss it more. I miss the simpleness of everyday, routine. I miss solitude. My band gets here on February 15th and after that I’ll have nine weeks of constantly being around people 24/7.

DH: You’re on album and book number two now - have you noticed a change in your writing process as time goes on?

BH: It’s totally changed. Before I just did spoken word and now I’m making songs. At first the melody was still spoken, but now it is more singing. It totally morphed. It’s simpler – easier – to write songs in some ways. But at the same time it’s still the same process. I get an idea and I write it down. There’s something that I know that I need to write about, so I put down the idea that I need to work out. I think now I’m more loyal to write down my ideas – though sometimes I don’t write it down anymore. I’m better at remembering now; the ideas that come out stay with me.

DH: The Thing That Poets Write About, The Thing That Singers Sing About follows a guy through the ups and downs of a relationship, and it sounds like you’ve had a few of those yourself. Do you have any principles or rules that you follow in approaching dating relationships? Or things that you wish you had known before your first (or second or third) girlfriend?

BH: The first thing that pops into my head is that you can’t change people. When we meet someone sometimes we think, this person will be great when this happens or that changes. It’s ridiculous to think that you’re going to change people. I’m learning to accept people as they are. The question I ask myself is, as this person is, do I fancy them? Not this person after changing them. I didn’t really date until I was 22 – I dated a girl for a month when I was 20 and a couple girls in high school, maybe for a week. You don’t realize how hard love is until you have to do it. I don’t believe in this modern view of love - it’s cheap: This person makes me happy and I make her happy, and if it isn’t working out just leave. It’s way harder, way deeper than that.

DH: Describe the perfect date. A little silly, and not really a question…

BH: With the girls I’ve dated, we’ve done travel together. They’ve come on tour and we’ve seen the pretty sites… but the most special dates for me? Well, for example, one of the best was eating chocolate ice cream watching CSI – was it CSI-Miami? – I think it was before that; I don’t remember. But that was a particular time. The best is just sittin’ at home with my girl – one on one.

DH: Our issue this month focuses on the theme Man, That’s Not Fair… and we’re thinking about how in marriage relationships (and other relationships) men sometimes get blamed for things that they think they shouldn’t take all the blame for. Can you think of some instances where you feel this way, but especially where you know you should take the responsibility even though you don’t want to?

BH: Yes, you do have to take the blame sometimes, and it’s one of those things with girls: Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. But you have to choose your battles. Sometimes you just have to let it go, it’s over with. But if it’s really important to you, if it’s something you can’t compromise, you might have to fight for it. You have to stay true to your conviction. Some things are just silly. There was this one time when I told a girl I was dating, ‘You look really pretty today.’ And she got upset and said, ‘I don’t look pretty every day?’ You can’t blame me for that, was I supposed to say, ‘You look pretty every day, but extra-pretty today!’? It can be a pride thing to not take the blame.

SIDEBAR'D: Manly Man

Click the Image above to watch the Manly Man Poem on Relevant.com

DH: Your poem Manly Man seems to ask us what our definition of manhood is, how we got that definition, and challenges whether that is indeed what manhood really is. I ran track and cross country in high school and college, and was also a fairly avid mountaineer; but my self-definition was seriously challenged when I broke my back, damaging my spinal cord, and becoming a paraplegic who could no longer do all of the “hardcore” things that I used to do (at least not in the same way). It seems to me at this moment that perhaps manhood has less to do with what you’re doing than with how you do it and how you experience it – perhaps there is, for example, something to John Eldredge’s thought that manliness has to do with adventure and leading and romancing a beauty (which you mention in the book for All the Hits So Far…). After all that, the obvious question: What is manhood to you right now? If you were to write Manly Man over would you change any of it?

BH: Manly Man – I wouldn’t change any of the poem. What is manhood to me now? That’s a deep question. What you said about John Eldredge, for me particularly, what I identified with was that I wanted adventure and a beauty to romance. But there are a lot of different expressions of manhood. I don’t think that you necessarily need to be an outdoorsman to be manly. I’ve been observing men with their women – I don’t want to define manhood based on romantic relationships – but it goes back to being a servant. There is a time to lead and a time to follow. Serving can mean taking the blame. Christ took our blame – our sin. He said, I know this isn’t mine, but I’ll take it anyway. Manhood also has to do with being confident with who you are. I got a new truck, a small truck, and this girl wanted me to get a big truck, but I live out of town and my little truck gets 25 miles to the gallon. I like big trucks, but I don’t need a big truck to prove that I’m a man. I’m comfortable with who I am. That’s part of manhood: Being comfortable with who you are. Not caring (about what other people think).

DH: Is comanionship (companionship with other men) important? Do you have a group of guys that you have comanionship with?

BH: Totally important to have man friends. Personally, I’ve been blessed to have older men in my life. I didn’t have a father through my teenage years, and these men have been teaching me how to be a husband, a father, a man. I probably value the older men in my life more than those my age. I have some bro-friends – have to have some. I have a man – he’s a dude, really, 20 or 21 – and we tried not to be friends for a while because we really butt heads a lot – but we couldn’t not be friends. We love each other and know that we need to be in each other’s lives. We don’t need to talk on the phone every day or every week, you know, but he asks me the tough questions and challenges me. No man is an island. I’m more solitary than most – but I still need company for sure.

DH: Husbands love your wives (Ephesians 5:25) – what does this mean?

BH: Serving and loving. You can serve anybody, but you can’t love anybody… I’m about to get philosophy degree on you… I just remembered a quote from a guy I met once in Kentucky: ‘It comes down to, when you sit down at the dinner table, you give your wife the bigger chicken leg.’ That blew my mind. It’s about serving.

DH: Do you have any particular favorites from scripture, or something that has been on your heart that you’d be willing to share with us?

BH: I had a rough week last week. Sunday, the Lord spoke to me and said, ‘My peace be with you;’ and it was Jesus speaking; and God said to me, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ I meditated on this for several hours. It was very vivid. I felt very strongly that the Lord wanted me to know this particularly. A favorite verse? ‘My father and mother forsake me, but the Lord will take me up (ed. note: Psalm 27:10).’ That has meant a lot to me. And Jesus’ last times with his disciples, it’s a very intimate moment.

For more information on Bradley Hathaway check out www.thebradley.net or for all you myspacers out there: http://www.myspace.com/bradleyhathaway

See our review of his latest album here: Review: The Thing that Poets Write About. The Thing that Singers Sing About.