By Bryce Bison

21 Days of Romancing the Stone; a challenge, an experiment, and a concept that should not seem so foreign. "All I have to do is one loving act everyday for three weeks? No problem." or so I thought, when my editor gave me this article as my assignment this month.

As it turns out, it is not as easy as it sounds. Have you ever had a bad day? Have you ever been "not in the mood" for your wife’s perfectly patient and kind disposition? Have you ever tried to actually put other people (your wife) first everyday in a row for three weeks? I challenge you to try it. Go ahead; give it your best shot. If you are anything like me you will do great for the first three days, and then it will become a little more difficult, and a little more trying on your patience.

The title suggests that I was able to successfully romance my wife for 21 days in a row, but I need to confess, the title should read "Trying to Romance the Stone as Much as Possible in 21 Days." Let me take you on my three-week adventure of trying to actively love my wife.

Here is my daily log:

12-29 - Mrs. Bison is ill, I had baby Bison all morning and into the afternoon. I fed him breakfast and lunch and then Mrs. Bison was feeling better so I went trapping sparrows. That night Mrs. Bison used kisses to combat my loud snoring instead of the usual hitting and kicking. (Only first day and already reaping the benefits, oh yeah!)

12.30 – I took Mrs. Bison to a cool little movie theater I had recently learned about. They were playing a movie that had been out awhile that she wanted to see, and that I had previously expressed no interest in seeing. It turned out to be a little romantic. She loved it. (In the Bison household we use the phrase “How full is your love tank?” to get an idea about how much the other person is feeling loved and cared for in our marriage. So, for the sake of being non-specific, I will use the term “Fill ‘er up” to express that Mrs. Bison has in some way behaved to “fill my love tank”. You may use this as a guide to see what kind benefits actively loving your wife can acquire.)

12-31 – I went on a walk with the Mrs. and baby Bison. (I dislike taking walks) During the walk I was thinking about my English setter Rogue, and how much I have enjoyed her lately. So I tell my wife, during the walk, “I have really been falling more in love with …..Rogue lately” HAHA! She thought I was going to say “you” and when I said the dog her jaw hit the ground. Whoops, I should be more thoughtful about who I am with. Later, Mrs. Bison says she has been falling more in love with me in the past few days. “Fill ‘er up”

1-1 - I got up with the boy, and went trapping all day. Before I left I sent my wife a little note in email telling her I love and appreciate her. After home from trapping, my wife had a “concentrated” look on her face. When I asked her what she was thinking about, she said she did not know why I was being such a loving husband, asked if I had done something terribly wrong. I told her no, so she says, “Oh, you are just being perfect then?” She is on to me and it is only day four.

1-2 – Today was busy; have to get to church pretty soon after work. We went on a 25-minute walk in between work and church.

1-3 – We had her brother over for dinner because he leaves for Iraq in three days. (What you are going to notice now, is that my log gets shorter and less specific. Just actual proof that I usually start strong and fade away to mediocrity.)

1-4 - My company’s holiday party was tonight. It was very fancy. It was in Downtown Denver at a nice Hotel. The night seemed kind of like a movie: pretty romantic. “Fill ‘er up”

1-5 – I went trapping all day. It was also the first day of our food fast, which was very difficult. We were snappy at each other all day and I pretty much did nothing to express my lifelong love of her.

1-6 – I regrouped today and found a sitter for the baby so I could take Mrs. Bison to National Treasure 2. Big points today, we haven’t seen this many movies since Baby Bison showed up. “Fill ‘er up”

1-7 – Tonight was the first night of a five-week class that I co-teach. I got home around 9:30pm and did not actively “fill my wife’s love tank.”

1-8 – The Mrs. and I prayed together tonight. It was very good. This should happen more in my marriage.

1-9 – Did nothing awesome for my wife.

1-10 – We went to Old Chicago (family favorite) as a family tonight. I got some good un-solicited feedback from her, “I really feel like our marriage has been good lately.” Cool.

1-11 – I picked up dinner on my way home tonight and rented a movie. We stayed in.

1-12 – I went trapping all day. We ordered pizza and watched our other rental.

1-13 – My parents took us out to lunch then we came home and all took a nap. “Fill ‘er up”

1-14 – Got home from class at 9:30pm and did nothing for my wife.

1-15 – We had a church meeting tonight and ate football-sized burritos. Delicious!

1-16 – Nothing special today. Except… “Fill ‘er up”

1-17 – I test-drove a truck today, so I picked up the family and we had an exciting time of running errands.

1-18 – I bought my truck. We then sent Baby Bison to Grandpa and Grandma’s house and went to a bowling birthday party for a friend of ours. We had a really fun time. “Fill ‘er up”

Well, I hope you have learned something from this. I know I have. I really believe that being selfless and putting your wife first is the only way to make your marriage work. The longer you go without actively loving your wife, the more she turns to stone. It is not her fault; it is how God designed marriage. I got results after one day. Try this for a week and see if doesn’t make a difference.

I should also mention that when Mrs. Bison found out that this was an assignment, well, it did reduce some of the points I had acquired during the three weeks. She also did not love being referred to as a stone. Who knew?